My dog will take pride of place at my wedding.

wtf??? What is it with people treating dogs (and other animals) like they are human?? Get over it people, they are animals, they don’t love you, they don’t understand every word you say and they don’t need to wear a coat and boots to go outside in the rain!!!

Now, don't get me wrong, I have a dog and I love her to bits, she's called Bella and she's a collie/rottweiler cross and she's all of 9 months old, but I don't treat her like a child because she isn't one! 

She gets dog food to eat because it contains the right amount of vitamins and minerals for her. She gets doggy treats when she is a good girl, not human sweets and tidbits because they contain salts and sugars that are bad for her (not to mention that chocolate contains something which in large quantities is poisonous to dogs!!) she sleeps on the floor not on my bed because she periodically picks up fleas and she is taken outside come rain or shine for a poo (or a wee) because if she isn't she'll eventually do it on the floor! She has her own toys to play with and she isn't allowed to play with mine. 

In short I treat her as what she is - an animal; one that I love and consider part of our family, but still an animal at the end of the day. You may think that your pet looks adorable in a hoody, or a tartan coat or in the latest pooch boots, but where is the dignity in that for your pet? If you want to dress something up buy a dolly - or go the whole hog and have a baby!! but for goodness sake give your pet the respect it deserves and leave the clothes for the dolls!

Anita 'naked pets' Kelly

Belfast

The End of an Era?

Life? Ain't it grand?? Aren't you just delighted that you are a housewife/secretary/teacher/sky-diver/rocket scientist...???

As of Monday evening I'm unemployed... I can sit around on my... bum and do nothing... it'll be great!! Except I've spent so long getting up at what is known colloquially as "sparrow's fart" that it'll probably continue until I do find some poor sod daft enough to give me another job and I won't get to actually enjoy being a lady of leisure!

Having said that, given what is on TV during the daytime I'm not sure that getting ANYTHING ASAP won't be a good idea! I couldn't face a life where every day was a choice between 'Escape to the sea/country/somewhere-else-I-wouldn't-be-caught-dead' and Jeremy-bloody-Kyle! What kind of brain dead people are in charge of programming today that they actually think such mental diarrhoea is entertainment? I mean, it’s not like we aren't inundated with reality crap anyway, watching all manner of people go about their daily lives only to find, after 13 weeks of 1hr programmes that actually their lives aren't any more interesting than ours are! But no, we have to have the residents of places like 'The Estate' or the cast of Shameless, parading their lives as well as their pyjamas on national television telling every man and his wife that their partner cheated on them, they cheated on their partner, their parents were crap, their kids are crap, their previous employer was mean to them and now they can't face getting another job and have to live on DLA for the rest of their lives.... need I go on??

What happened to shame? What happened to embarrassment? I'd be mortified if my kids took me on national TV and told the world I was a crap parent, instead these people seem to go out of their way to look scruffy & dirty, or slutty and spend the entire time shouting and bullying one another! It makes me want to grab them by the collective lapels and scream in their face, "you aren't here because it’s a good place for a family day out; you are here because you have failed in the most basic of life's tasks, being a decent human being to those around you!! Have a look at your life, and while you are about it, have a bloody good look at your wardrobe! Just because it has a jacket & trousers doesn't mean your pyjamas are outdoor wear! Buy a pair of bloody jeans and a t-shirt, and get a decent pair of trainers instead of sloppy boots that are trodden down at the heel! The word 'slattern' was never more applicable than in some of the families paraded before us every afternoon. And these people are exploited in the name of entertainment, brought from their poor, shabby little lives and into our living rooms to entertain us, make us laugh, make us look down on them and say 'well, I may have my problems, but thank God I'm not as bad as they are!' 

But are we?

If I spend my afternoon watching these families, laughing at 'the state of them' and deriding their morals and activities what am I? At best a voyeur, at worst I am a part of the reason these people are there! If it nobody watched these programmes the TV stations would soon stop airing them and these mothers and daughters, husbands and sons could go back to their own lives and maybe get some real help instead of a jumped up nobody shouting at them with the audience ganging up behind him.

I've heard it said many times, if you aren't part of the solution then you are part of the problem.

By watching Jeremy Kyle, Jerry Springer, Maury, Dr Phil and any number of other 'chat shows' I'm not actually helping these people therefore I must be part of their problem - part of the world looking down on them and mocking instead of going to my neighbour and saying "I've noticed you are struggling - how can I help?" Maybe people will reject me for it, tell me to 'feck off' and accuse me of being a busy body or a goody two shoes... but someone, someday will be glad, someone going under for the third time will be grateful that someone held out a hand that contained a life vest instead of a handful of rocks.

So instead of sitting on my butt doing nothing, I think I'm gonna go and see the chap next door, he's recently had a leg amputated and I bet his wife would like an afternoon off to go shopping while someone else sits with him. And I can go and visit William, a 94 year old man I met when I was in hospital the other week. We had a real good laugh while we were in and I promised to visit - maybe I'll just do that!

I've been feeling so sorry for myself in recent times, things seem to have been so bad since Christmas, but I'm still here, and so are my husband and my son. My daughters are as beautiful as they always are and I received so many happy birthdays that I was 'gob-smacked'... and not a little warmed by them all. From 1.30am (thanks Ashleigh) to 23:51 (thanks Richard) people were 'pinging' me all day... It doesn't half do you good to realise how many people consider you a friend!

I'm gonna be part of the solution from now on, I've spent 45 years thinking of me (and my family) time to think of the world!

Why don't you join me!?!

Anita 'new-leaf' Kelly
Belfast

three strikes and you're out!

Every time i start to climb out of this pit I find myself in, some bugger comes along and digs it a bit deeper!!!  We've just got a 'round the houses' letter from an estate agents saying, in effect, that my home has been repossessed (from the landlord, not from me) - now what??

In the last two months I have been made redundant and been hospitalised, now I'm going to be homeless too? I'm trying to look on the bright side and imagine that this estate agent (who is acting as a management company for the bank) will actually do the repairs to the property we have been waiting over a year for, but I'm not holding my breath. After all its easier for them to evict us than it is for them to replace the copper hot water cylinder (in the loft) repair the leak under the bath (necessitating a new bathroom), install a new damp proof course, replace all the windows, install loft and cavity wall insulation and replace all the doors that don't work.

Of course, because of my redundancy I now can't get a private rental, but the Housing Executive here in NI have decided that, basically, I'm not entitled to a local government house as I don't have any kids... of course not, I'm 45 - all my kids have grown up and gone off on their own (apart from Josh, but that's another story) do I really need to keep having kids to ensure that, when I really need assistance (and after supporting myself for x number of years) I can get it?

Maybe if I was coming into the UK from an eastern European country I'd get a house - but don't get me started on that one!!!

I hate my life!

Anita 'Going Under' Kelly
Belfast

Clegg's New Deal for Kids!

So I see that our inestimable deputy-Prime Minister has 'thought up' a new scheme for getting jobs for young people. They are going to pay employers to take them on and this will give young people who have had no chance to gain experience an opportunity to learn a trade or industry. The employer will receive a subsidy from the government to pay the young person's wages (for 6 months anyway) and everyone is a winner!

Sorry, must just clear up where the sarcasm has dripped off that last sentence!

I left school in the 80s - a time when the unemployment total just seemed to rise and rise. I was also a 'worker' on the old Youth Training Scheme, where the government paid employers to take on young people to give them work experience. 

What happened??? The employers took on the young person under the scheme, (who wouldnt want a free full time worker??) at the end of the year the young person was given a 'certificate' to prove they had done it and were shunted off to the next one. Employers very rarely actually kept the young person on and I spent a year working full time for £25 per week! I know it was the 80s but even then that was ridiculous. 

So why are the government trying this 'by any other name' scheme again? Because what they actually want to do is get 500,000 young people off the unemployed register and out of the statistics. It isn't about getting jobs for people - there ARE no jobs - its about making the government look better!

My opinion?? It didnt work then and it wont work now. Young people will take up these 'courses' or 'jobs' because they are desperate. Employers will fail to keep the young person on and the unemployment figures will come down. But there will be as many people without work as before - they will just be off doing something low paid that will prevent them claiming unemployment benefit. 

Cynical?? Its my middle name...!!

Anita 'Cynical' Kelly

Belfast

Losing a tooth to losing an attitude.

This week I have mostly been curled up in bloody agony with a crumbling wisdom tooth. Those who, like myself in the past, have claimed that childbirth is the worst pain ever should suffer this pain for a few minutes - give me childbirth every time!! Thankfully my wonderful dentist (Alan Parker & Associates) sorted me out in 30 minutes by giving me a local and pulling the darn thing out! Now that I have had this blight on my life removed forever I can get back to my current pet hate - diet adverts!!!

Why do I think I have a voice that needs hearing on this?? Because I'm a 'big girl' - a kind euphemism for a woman of generous proportions, a 'fat lass'... 

I was looking at my page on a certain social media site and noticed - yet again - that, apparently, Cheryl Cole has lost 13kg! Good for her, I'm sincerely delighted if she felt she were a mere 2stone overweight and managed to lose it. Personally speaking I would have been perfectly happy with her pre-weight-loss body and I suspect that, in fact, so would she.

I further suspect that she has not actually lost any weight at all but has had her picture and name hijacked by another diet company attempting to shame perfectly contented women into neurotic and panic stricken starvation or even worse into damaging their long term health with badly researched and/or tested eating regimes. 

Notice I use the word 'regime' instead of 'diet'?? dictionary.com defines these two words thus:

           diet: food or feed habitually eaten or provided: (1 of 5 definitions)

           regime: a ruling or prevailing system. (1 of 5 definitions)

So, diet is what you eat, regime is the people in control. That seems to make sense. We should all have a 'healthy diet', that is, we should all habitually eat or provide healthy food. That definition of the word definitely seems to hold water!

Regime, on the other hand, is a word that has been bandied about a lot recently, particularly with reference to the ruling systems of the various near- and middle-eastern countries that have been experiencing 'civil unrest'. The word seems to conjure up an image of ruthless dictators that abuse their position of power to amass more power and much wealth. They abuse their citizens, subjecting them to injustices and brainwashing to change the way they think.   

There's an interesting point of conjunction! These systems that claim to allow us to lose weight all have one thing in common with such regimes - they change the way we think. They seem to say that we can be slim, beautiful and popular if we will only buy their product/follow their rules/join their clubs.

"That's good", I can hear you saying, "We need to change the way we think about food!"

Well, speak for yourself! 

I'm not a big fan of 'Big is Beautiful' because sometimes it isn't. 

Sometimes big is a way of hiding from something painful. Sometimes it is a medical problem. And sometimes it is greed and/or laziness. Big can be unhealthy, it can cause or exacerbate some medical conditions, it can cause excess wear and tear on the body leading to heart disease and problems with the bones. It can even cause imbalances in the hormones that affect the natural functioning of the body, making every day life a misery. But sometimes it isn't! 

I followed a diet given to me by my GP a couple of years ago and lost 6 stone in 8 months. I was happy and healthy until I spontaneously developed 'multiple bi-lateral pulmonary thromboses' - lots of blood clots in both lungs!! The reason was probably the massive increase in the amount of vitamin K I was taking in via green leafy vegetables and the way it reacts badly with my, at that point undiagnosed, Factor V Leidens, a condition that is a type of thrombophillia and causes an increased tendency for the blood to clot. 

In a very real sense getting thinner had made me ill - so ill I could have easily died! In any case my medical lot now is to have to restrict the amount of Vitamin K I take in and subject myself to a daily dose of Warfarin for the rest of my life, something that carries its own increased risks of hemorrhage 

It is worth remembering that not all overweight people need to lose weight for their health. Sometimes a person that appears overweight to you is perfectly healthy and perfectly happy. Why should they be made to feel that they have to change their behaviour or appearance to appease someone else? Who do all these 'thin police' think they are??

In my opinion (and its my blog!!) the only valid reason to press someone else to lose weight is if their health is being adversely effected and if you are close enough in relationship to actually care. Otherwise, mind your own damn business! I don't chase you around insisting you do something about your bad breath/flat feet/hideous dress sense so why do you think you have the right to comment on my weight?? 

Most (not all) overweight people would like to lose some weight. For some it is the fear of future ill-health. For some it is for ease of movement or travel. Some of us, believe it or not, want to lose weight because we can't continue to pay out the extortionate prices for 'outsize' clothing i.e. anything over a size 16! 

Some of us would even like to lose weight so that we can feel good about ourselves, but why do we need to be thinner to do that?? Who is it that ;makes us feel bad that we are above a certain weight or dress size? Mostly its magazines, TV shows and television. How many times have you been watching your favourite sit-com or stand up show when the 'humour' turns to making fat people the object of ridicule. 

"You don't retain water," shouts Billy Connolly, "You are retaining chips, you're retaining mars bars."

The audience screams with laughter, everyone thinks its hilarious, fat people have lost another excuse for being fat. Well, I'm sorry, I'm fat and guess what? I DON'T NEED AN EXCUSE!! 

My body is working as it should. It is storing excess fuel in the form of fat against the day that famine strikes (OK, not very likely here in the UK, but you never know!!) Those who do not put on weight should look to their own health and ask why their body is shedding perfectly good fuel and why it seems unable to store it as it is supposed to. My body is fine - its YOUR body that has something wrong with it!

Ask yourself this, who says that being thin is better?? People who are looking to make masses of money out of you. Either by getting you thin or by keeping you that way! 

Next time you see an overweight person don't allow your lip to curl in disgust, after all what would people think if they could see YOUR disgusting habits displayed on your body for all to see...? 


Anita 'FatGirl' Kelly
Belfast

Rioters... AAARRGGH!!!

OK, I tried, I really did... I wasn't going to do this online, I was gonna keep my ranting to myself but i'm sick to the back teeth of people trying to excuse the disgusting behaviour of the looters over the last week... the fact of the matter is this is not 'poverty stricken youth rebelling against a world that doesnt accept or understand them' - its a group of people of all ages and ethnic/cultural backgrounds who thought it was acceptable for them to go out, create havoc and steal whatever they wanted just because they could!

I was raised on a council estate, i had my first child at 17 and I had 2 children by the time I was 19... I was the typical unmarried mother, on benefits, living in a council house, its not an easy life but i was very aware of whose fault it was that my life was difficult - MINE!! I was grateful that i got subsidised housing, that the taxpayer paid for me to be able to feed my kids and keep them warm and dry. I got married at 21 and went on to have another 3 children by the time I was 25. My kids weren't born with a silver spoon in their mouths, my ex-husband was unemployed for the first 10 years we were married - but we behaved like normal, civilised human beings, we didn't riot, we weren't a pain in the ass for our neighbours and we made an effort to get along with people. My ex finally got work in NI back in 97 and we moved to Belfast where we were finally - after 15 years of marriage - able to buy a house but even then we didn't have much money. It was a usual occurrence for us to spend £500 on our kids for Christmas... £500 between them, that is!!
We split 5 years ago and are both remarried meaning my kids come from the prime 'rioting' recruitment group - inner city kids, raised in 'poverty', from a broken home.... yet none of my kids were out rioting.
They may have been raised in poverty but they were also raised to respect authority, to respect other people (and other people's property) and to respect themselves!
Why do these people think they can do what they have been doing? Simple - because they can!! they have learned from an early age that the police can arrest them but they'll generally get away with a 'slap on the wrist' as our prisons are already full to overflowing... they have learned that teachers can't touch them, that even their parents can no longer chastise them without being accused of abuse! these people know more about their rights than what IS right and i have only two questions:

1. who is to blame for this state of affairs?
2. what are we gonna do about the future??

the answer to 1 is simple - the same social services and youth workers who have spent the last couple of decades drumming 'rights' into people's heads - any society where a burglar can sue his victim when he injures himself during the robbery is not just broken but smashed to pieces!! I am not in favour of beating the crap out of anyone, much less kids but smacking children isn't abuse - its correction! it teaches kids that if they do wrong their are consequences and those consequences are unpleasant! fluffy hippy types who effectively outlawed smacking but didn't replace it with anything for the majority of people are directly responsible for this attitude among the populace... we need to get back to parents being able to chastise their kids to keep them in line and the parents being punished (or at least reprimanded) when their kids are out of control!

the answer to 2 isn't so simple - in short i don't know what the answer is... how can you now take these people who span all cultural/ethnic backgrounds and about 4 or 5 decades, and change the way they think? how can you make people feel like they have a community and a responsibility to that community? how can you make people realise that, no matter what their gripe with the government, smashing up other peoples property, people's livelihood and, in some cases, other people, is wrong? and more importantly, how can you stop these same people from seeing any changes now brought about by the people or by the government as a reward for their criminal behaviour??

answers on a postcard to 10 downing street please...

Anita 'Law&Order' Kelly
Belfast

What am I hacked off about this week?

Hacking scandal? Recreational rioters? Liars? Cheats? Thieves?

Nothing really... life is what it is... some people are striving against one another, others are able to get along well enough... even my ex is able to answer a text from me without starting with "you do not exist..."!! Things are moving along in work, some people have left and some others have started new...

... and I've applied for another job....

it's uber secret at the moment - which is why you are the only 'people' i'm telling... its with the PSNI and i'm hoping i can get in on the first round... i did the aptitude test 2 weeks ago so i should hear some time in the next week to 10 days...

so - life in general isn't too bad... not a very exciting blog - but an entry anyway... ach well... i'll see ya soon! x

Anita 'Mellow' Kelly
Belfast